5 Questions For Finding The Right Therapist

Jumping into therapy without doing any research often leads to bad experiences. You might discover that you don’t mesh well with your therapist’s personality, or that the type of therapy they offer isn’t right for your needs (which can even make your symptoms worse), and by that point, you’ve already paid for something! Luckily for you, I’ve compiled my best tips to help you avoid making costly mistakes when started your therapy journey.

I’ll walk you through 5 questions to consider in your therapist-hunt, and share some resources to help you in your search. As you read, I recommend deciding which features are your non-negotiables and which you’re willing to budge on.

How might your demographic influence your working relationship with your therapist?

Are you in a unique or marginalized demographic? Are there certain types of people who make you feel anxious or triggered?If so, it’s helpful to choose a therapist who is educated on your demographic. You can even find therapists who are members of your demographic, though it’s also okay to prefer someone with more personal distance. Which works for you is going to be a personal decision to which there is no wrong answer.

Because identity is so broad, here is a list of example demographics to consider as you work through this question:

• female, male, intersex, transgender
• BIPOC, refugee, immigrant
• military/veteran, abuse survivor
• disabled, chronically ill
• single parent, child/teen, student,
• religious, Christian, atheist

You can also use Psychology Today‘s digital Find A Therapist tool to easily filter through local therapists, weeding out those who might not fit your needs. Demographic information is also typically listed on therapists’ websites and any other online therapy platforms they may be a part of.

Does location matter to you?

Many people find that getting out of the house is half the battle when it comes to getting to therapy, so you may have a strong preference for how and where you meet. Consider whether you’d benefit more from in-person or remote therapy. Do you need to see the person’s face and body language? Or do you prefer more anonymity?

If you prefer in-person strongly, decide both how far away you’d be comfortable commuting and what type of commute you’re willing/able to make. It may be obvious that if you don’t have access to a car or public transportation, you’ll be limited to walking distance, but answering the second half of the question––what type of commute you’ll accept––is harder. For instance, some people may be able to take the bus, but get so anxious while doing so that they may completely zone out in therapy. Include anything that might seriously get in the way of your therapy in your decision.

If, on the other hand, you prefer remote visits, think about whether you have a format preference (video, phone, or chat). Or, do you have a disability that might not be compatible with certain formats? Those interested in remote therapy will find great results through betterhelp, a fully digital therapy platform that allows you to find and switch therapists easily (albeit, for a significantly higher premium; don’t let them tell you otherwise).

What is your budget?

When answering this question, it’s important to consider how often you might need or want to have therapy sessions. Because you typically pay by the hour, it costs more to meet twice a week than once a month. While it’s hard to know how much therapy you need, you can make a decision beforehand about how often to go. If you’re struggling severely, your therapist may recommend more visits than you’re able to pay for, but the final decision is always up to you.

If you’re tight on cash, there are ways to minimize your costs a bit. First, you can shop for therapists who have a cheaper rate (again, Psychology Today is a great resource for this) and verify whether they accept your insurance before your visit by asking on the phone or checking on their website.

You may also be able to qualify for free therapy programs. For instance, most college students in the U.S. qualify for free therapy through their university (usually with a very long wait-list). In some cases, charitable organizations are also able to help fund therapy for in-need individuals. However, free therapy isn’t an option for every location or demographic.

Would you benefit from a specific type of therapy?

There are more types of therapy than I know to list, and not every one will work the same way for every person. This can be frustrating when you’re on a budget, but luckily, there are ways to work around it.

If you’re currently seeing a therapist and feel that your treatment isn’t helping as much as you like, tell your therapist. You might worry about hurting their feelings, but they are usually grateful to receive feedback. In this situation, your therapist might offer to try an alternative approach or refer you to a therapist with different specialties.

For those who can’t afford to do that type of therapist-hopping, don’t worry! A little bit of preemptive research can often save time and money. I’ll give you a few tips for refining your search.

First, consider what issues you are struggling with. If you’ve been to therapy before, you might already have a diagnosis (or several) that can point you in a clear research direction (for example, a search like “best types of therapy for BPD”). But even if you’re starting from scratch, your daily struggles can clue you in on key terms that are likely already hanging out in your therapist’s online bio.

• Are you chronically stressed? Look into therapies tailored for anxiety or burnout.
• Have you experienced a major life event, such as a death, war, job loss, assault, or illness? Consider looking into trauma or grief-related therapies
• Maybe you’re searching for a therapist for your little one. Try researching the best therapies for children in your young one’s age group.
• Are you struggling with loneliness or isolation? Consider group therapy, wilderness therapy or other therapies built around connection.

You can usually find information about what therapies and circumstances a therapist is trained in on their bio.

Are you using “research” as a reason to avoid going to therapy?

This question definitely certainly won’t apply to everyone, but because avoiding therapy often makes mental health issues worsen, it’s worth considering.

Everyone is scared to visit a therapist for the first time, but for some, “researching” therapy becomes a way to self-sabotage their efforts at getting well. Think about whether your fear is literally stopping you from pushing that appointment button. More often than not, getting help from someone who isn’t a perfect fit is better than not getting help at all.

So here’s my nudge to take the leap. I promise you’ve got this! And as soon as you make that appointment, a therapist will have your back too.