There are a lot of things that people do every day that make them absolutely miserable, and they don’t even realize it.
#1 Not Pursuing Your Dreams
When people talk about their dreams, they frequently do so in the context of “someday,” rather than as a current pursuit. They picture their dreams, as theoretical wishes that their future self will make possible.
What they don’t realize is that people tend to think of their future selves as entirely different people, and consequently, do not feel responsible for that person’s actions. They forget that they must pave the path for that other self before the next step can be taken.
People detach themselves from accountability for their goals, which quickly leads to all the classic excuses for having done nothing with one’s life: too much work, too many friends to keep up with, not enough money etc. In reality, these things are more often than not, marginally responsible for our ‘inability’ to pursue our dreams.
Whatever the case, failure to pursue dreams seems to me to be one of the largest causes of unhappiness in the modern world.
What we ought to be doing is thinking of our dreams as concrete realities that our present selves are responsible for making happen.
#2 Staying in your Comfort Zone
It’s easy to think that you’ll be happier if you never mess up, but that’s not the case. If you let fear stop you from pursuing your dreams, new friendships or exploring new avenues, you become stagnant.
Stagnation quickly festers into a feeling that life is pointless. You lose confidence in your abilities, and in yourself.
If you want your life to feel meaningful, you have to break down the walls that you put around yourself by staying in your comfort zone. If you do, not only will you begin to accomplish things you never thought you could, but you will be happier. You will feel that you have more freedom. Life will be meaningful.
#3 Not Paying Attention to the Beauty in the World
Primitively, humans once lived as hunters and gatherers, at the pace of the earth. But our lives have become very fast-paced in this modern age, and it makes us so weary that we don’t even notice we’re tired until we get home and collapse from our long days. Life is never happy when it is filled only by your schedule when all you do is work.
Spending a few hours a week in nature can help you to slow down. Your levels of overall calm will increase, and you actually find yourself processing stress better. Your system needs a break from constantly running on cortisol all the time. Give it that break.
#4 Always Putting Others Before Yourself
One surefire way to wear yourself out is to neglect your own needs. Don’t do that to yourself. Furthermore, if you are always trying to please others, that’s a pretty good sign your self-confidence is low.
Get out of your one-sided friendships. Remove toxic people from your life. Stop letting yourself get taken advantage of. Stop remaining silent when people hurt you.
Take care of your soul. It’s fragile, and people will step on it if you let them.
#5 Always Putting Yourself Before Others
Many people don’t realize it, but never helping others out actually makes you miserable. Not sharing your life, your belongings, your time, and your abilities with others forms a barrier between you and them.
Your ability to connect with people as individuals becomes hindered by your protectiveness of your own ego. As a result, you isolate yourself and are unable to form the meaningful bonds that all people need in order to be happy.
The same thing happens when you:
- Compare yourself to others
- Don’t treat people as equals, or look down on people
- Constantly feel the need to compete with others
- Believe that you are alone and that nobody can understand you
- Allow yourself to become jealous of others
#6 Dwelling on Material Things
More stuff will not make you happier. All it does is clutter your life. Furthermore, stuff is expensive. If you’re constantly buying new things, you’re only building a financial wall between yourself and your dreams.
I know many people that complain that they’re jealous of many of the things that I’ve paid to learn how to do, or places that I’ve paid to go. And yet, they’re always buying the latest iPhone. They have three cars. Who needs three cars?
Settle for less. Buy things that last longer and then stop thinking you’ll be happier with more, because you won’t. You’ll simply keep thinking that, and under that belief, buying more things that will not make you happy.
#7 Not Making Decisions
Some time, sit down and pay attention to your dynamics within a group of people that you don’t always feel happy around. You might be unhappy because the group never does the activity that you wanted to do. But pay close attention and you’ll notice that the activity you do end up doing is something that somebody decided to plan.
If you didn’t help decided what to do in the first place, of course, they’re not going to pick your activity!
If you want to be happy in your friendships, and in your career, you need to stop differing decision-making to others. Followers don’t have as much control over their lives as people who step forward and make the decision that nobody else will.
Furthermore, if you don’t make decisions, you become a higher target for getting stuck in manipulative relationships. People take advantage of you when you don’t make decisions, and that’s never going to make you happy.
#8 Procrastinating
It’s often common to spend far more time on a project or assignment than needed, simply because we’re sitting there, telling ourselves we don’t want to do it. We make ourselves more miserable the longer we sit there spending so much unnecessary time on something we don’t want to do.
And yet, we’re perfectly capable of doing it in very little time (otherwise we wouldn’t be capable of procrastinating until the last minute in the first place).
Learn how to make to-do lists, then prioritize your time so that you can spend more of it doing things that you actually want to do.
#9 Not Caring For Your Body And Mind
Nutrition and physical health have a much stronger impact on your emotional well-being than most people believe. Statistically, your bodily health tends to be directly correlated to your mental health, and consequently, finding ways to take care of your body is one of the best ways to fight depression and anxiety.
Get up off your butt and take that shower you’ve been putting off. Do some yoga. Stop eating those potato chips that you don’t really like that much. Prioritize your rest.
Alexandra Malouf 